Character Design Rant.

Soooo after my last post, i got the following comment:

"Hey I`ve been following ur blog for a bit (im from the AB forums) and i just wanted to comment on what you said about how getting lackluster reviews. It`s not because your stuff is bad because I think it`s good but it`s just realistic to a point that it lacks style I think. I know you say you don`t get the whole cartoony style but I think that`s something you should try getting past. I`m not trying to say you should conform to a certain style, I just think it would do you alot of good to maybe play around with more cartoony stuff and see how it feels. Character designers usually draw stuff that is even more cartoony and stylized than the final characters that are put into production because the designs get watered down. I think that if you were to become a character designer, you`d have a hard time because these if these were watered down more, it would practically be photo-realistic. I think it would benefit the animation in your films aswell. Haha I don`t mean to sound like a jerk, I just wanted to voice my opinion. I`m sure you know more about this stuff than I do though, so I don`t expect you to listen to my ramblings lol."

Do I disagree?? Not at all.

I mean, ok yeah, my stuff is pretty darn realisticish and yea that's problematic. But like..I dunno. Sure when i was growing up i watched cartoons but I always JIZZED over cartoons that looked more realistic. and I guess that's why my character designs look that way.

I mean...here's my taste:

I mean, fuck, I like anime. hahah. I mean, just trying to come up with images that express the sorta character design i like. I like anime. But like, i had it pounded in my head from a young age that anime=not able to draw/Not gonna get into cal arts. lol. So I toned it down, broke myself down and started to draw more realisticly

I used to draw like this:

Then someone told me that if I wanted to get into Cal Arts, I'd have to be able to draw from life, which I took as drawing realistically. So I started to draw like this:

And that eventually turned into this:

Which eventurally turned into this

And now I'm in the process of dumbing all that down and simplifying it to this:

And well I LIKE that. I really do. but I'm sure people would look at these designs and say "oh, well, they're nice!" and then proceed to drool over something super graphic and "fun". I guess it's just that my taste is really different. I always got excited seeing things that looked pretty realistic but were obviously drawn animate.It would just GET ME OFF. You know? A more realistic animated show excites me more than something that is cartoony and graphic and blah blah blah. I guess it's because I tend to really enjoy more serious stories. Or stories that treat you like you're an adult and not some kid watching TV. Because i guess I've always felt like I was older and more mature than everyone around me. lol

It's really hard for me to draw something like:

and actually enjoy myself. there's nothing complicated about most of these character and I'm sure if I sat down and tried i could draw em but... i don't know It doesn't excite me. And it drives me mad because the things that don't excite me, are amazing to other people. hahaha. I can watch each of these shows and appreciate them. But I can't see myself trying to make them.

Character design is also confusing to me. Because I grew up with characters like these:

Who yeah, have some more graphic shape-based elements but are still rather realistic. So when I hear my character design teacher appreciate yet pass over my drawings it makes me a shade confused. lol.

I don't know. I feel so lost. I enjoy drawing the way I draw and anyone that would look at what i just posted would be able to tell that I HAVE opened my mind to other ways o drawing and I still AM open to drawing other styles (hell, you have to be!!) but you know, my default style isn't really inspired by TV shows on cartoon network or things from Hanna Barbara. I in fact wasnt' really exposed to cartoons and such that weren't available at blockbusters (which is why my taste is mostly anime).

I"m changing and I'm willing to change, but I doubt that i will be able to grow a personal aestethtic that is more appealing to most of the people in the program. lol. I'm so stuck! haahaha.